A Statement of Intent

I lost my teaching job on April 1, 2025.

I know. Quite a prank.

I remember sitting there at the table with the administrative team as they told me that they were not renewing my contract because they were concerned about my mental stability interfering with my ability to teach. I looked at them and said, tears in my eyes, “Is this a joke?”

And that’s how my nine years of teaching at my school came to an end.

Not with a bang, but with a whimper.

I wasn’t allowed to say good-bye to my students, I wasn’t allowed to tell them what was happening. My school told me that they would continue to pay my salary for the rest of the contract term so long as I did not contact any person from my school. Probably because they knew that what they were doing to me was wrong.

I was one of the best teachers at that school, and they threw me away.

I gave that school nine years of my life, and they gave me twenty minutes to clean out my classroom.

Since then, we sold our house, we moved to Utah, I lived in Utah for a month before moving back to Flagstaff, I filed for divorce, and I’m now living with my parents while I’m trying to put my life back together.

I’m not sure if I am able to teach anymore. I picked up a substitute gig with CCC and even that was overwhelming. It got to the point where I was afraid to check my email. Of course, that’s how I felt when I taught High School. I have to seriously consider whether or not I need to go onto long-term disability in order to make ends meet and get back on my feet.

2025 has been the worst year of my life. If you want a metaphorical look at that year, here’s a video I made that represents it in the best way I can: Boots || The Long Walk

For me, 2025 was a test of unbearable endurance. Frankly, I am thankful that I made it through. I made it up the hill. I am thankful to my friends and family who have helped me through my darkest hours. My family moved heaven and Earth to save me from being trapped in Utah. When I wasn’t sure if my wife was abandoning me and our children, my family came through for me.

I realized this year that I have lived my life in fear.

Fear of rejection. Fear of abandonment. Fear of failure. Fear of doing what makes me happy.

I have never felt that I deserve to be happy. I have always felt that I have to get my happiness from other people. Parents, friends, girlfriends, etc.

I kept putting my needs second and third and even fourth on my list of priorities and then I was surprised when I felt miserable.

I think I have felt miserable since January 2024.

I’m tired of being miserable.

I’m tired of living in fear.

I’m tired of having partial success from not trying very hard.

I never wanted to be a teacher. It was just something that I was very good at.

I always wanted to be a writer. An author.

In the midst of all of this suffering this year, I finished writing my first completed novel. I am shopping that novel around to agents currently and I am really hopeful that I can make this a real career transition. It is something I always wanted but I was always too afraid.

I was too afraid to gamble on myself.

And I wondered why I felt so miserable.

That is what I want. That is why this website and this blog exists.

As I repair my life, I want to start over by making my needs a priority. I’m tired of wondering.

Even if it doesn’t work out the way I want it to, I want to be able to tell my kids that I tried.

I didn’t just let my dream slip by. I tried.

And what I learned from 2025 is that no matter how hard the situation becomes, I am stronger.

2026 is around the corner. Step into it brothers.

12/11/25